First Time Father: Our Boy is TWOOOO!

Two years are a long time and a lot can change in that time. Consider that from the time the U.S. entered WWII in 1941, through 1943, Germany’s assault across Europe and Northern Africa was stalled, and then pushed back. A celebrity can be married, divorced, and remarried in that time. And a little boy can come into your life and totally dominate your once free-spirited, selfish ways.

Our son, Gray, turns two today. “TWOOO,” he says emphatically, if unknowingly, when asked his age. It’s been two years that have seemed to have flown by in many ways, slower in others, but altogether changing my life. As a father, husband, and man, I’m not the same as I was before he got here. There are similarities for sure, but there have been many changes and sacrifices that weren’t there before. He’s two today and being his father has been oh so interesting.

What I find most fascinating, being a parent now, is how kids interact with the world. I knew he’d be inquisitive and brash at times, but I love seeing Gray explore and figure things out. As a testament to his mother he is stubborn enough to have the patience to figure out whatever puzzle he is working on. I mean puzzle in the sense of wonderment, actual desire to uncover how to do something. He seemed to develop motor skills pretty quickly, though I don’t know the stats on ages for theses type of things. He is not easily fooled or distracted. If Gray wants your phone and you offer him a cookie instead, he’ll take that cookie, and others, and he’ll then ask again for the phone. He will say hi to one and all, without opinion of the person, and in that I find the most joy. He has yet to develop an unkind heart, filled with cynicism or distrust. There is no pretense to his kindness, no ulterior motive to his joy. He is a simple boy, filled with incredible potential that will continue to be developed. And I’d argue that I’m only going to get in his way, as much as try and mold or direct him, on his journey through life. But it is a journey I am most excited to witness.

And as I continue to watch him grow and learn I wonder if I can honestly say, in times of counsel, “I know what you’re going through,” because his childhood will be so different than mine. I had books and could be left at a bus stop. He will have tablets that sprout information at the touch of a finger, and I’ll be constantly worried about some pervert grabbing him up. I had a trapper keep, he’ll use share drives. He’ll text his girlfriend while I could barely get the nerve up to call a girl on our phone in our kitchen (Just kidding, he’s not getting a cell phone until he’s in college). I’m going to fight real hard during the next few years to continue to be the type of dad mine was with me: loving, stern but not mean, encouraging, and present. And of course my wife will be there to ensure I don’t get too over protective in anyway. I just want what’s best for him, like all parents do, and hope we can give him the right guidance he needs to make the smart decisions as he is faced with them.

I just wanted to finish up this Hub by mentioning some of the milestones I have shared with Gray in the past two years. Mainly because this kid truly warms my heart in ways I never thought imaginable, and I love thinking about all the great times we have shared so far.

First and foremost is hearing him speak real words. His tiny voice thrills me so much when I hear him call out trucks, jeeps, dogs, birds, books, ducks, aqua (he never says water), and mamma and dadda. And now he's saying, "I love you, mama," and "I love you, dadda," and it just breaks my heart. Of course he isn't getting all the words exactly right, but because I have become fluent in Toddler, and because he is actually getting so much better, the words are now part of sentences and it is pretty special.

We just cut his hair for the very first time two days ago, and although I expected a total meltdown in the chair, he once again surprised me with his coolness under the shears. Of course he was plied with fruit snacks the whole time to keep him distracted, but he really was well behaved.

A couple weeks ago I took him by myself on an airplane to see my brother and my best friend. Gray sat on my lap, giggled and slept, and slammed the window shade down 4,263 times. A couple months back he traveled with my wife across the country to Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon. He did not fall in the fountains at the Bellagio nor the canyon, which is grand. He even went on a cruise with us to Mexico and not only had a great time, he was never a nuisance to anyone.

Gray’s swim lessons this summer were fun, but I’m pretty sure he’ll only think of a pool for a while as another place to jump into while landing on his little butt. That kid loves to climb, jump, fall, and ask, “Are you o.k.?” He asks that every time he falls, beating his parents to the punch.

Gray has been to four baseball games and a college football game. He can recognize sports as football and baseball. He’ll see a stadium and say, “baseball,” which is weird. His grandfather is going to be in town this weekend so I think I’ll try and get the three of us to go see a game so three generations can take in a game together.

Walking and running with Gray has been a blast, and a saving grace to my arm and back. As much as I loved carrying him, I’m glad he enjoys walking. He’s been to stores, the mall, zoos, aquariums, museums, ballparks, amusement parks, and airports, and he’d much rather walk then ride. Actually he’d rather push the cart or stroller than walk. I can’t even get him on my shoulders anymore because he won’t allow me to try. And when he runs he has his father’s quickness. He will take off on you if you aren’t careful.

We’ve been very fortunate to have a great dog. Richard Parker has been our dog for four and a half years. I was never worried about how R.P. would treat Gray, but I didn’t expect that he would love him the way he does. R.P. has protected Gray from tumbling down the stairs more than once. And he has been patient with Grayson as Gray has been able to walk and chase R.P. It’s been rewarding for the dog, too, because now Gray demands that he give R.P. treats daily, though he usually makes the dog chase him for his bounty.

And watching TV with Gray has gone from his on-demand viewing of Baby Einstein to all things Elmo to Conan O’Brien. He loves Conan the way cops love donuts. He’ll chant, “Nonan, Nonan, Nonan,” (he can’t say “Conan” yet) nightly, and he’ll sit, mesmerized while Conan struts his stuff to his spot on the stage and deliver his monologue each morning while having his bottle. Conan has become a go-to medicinal show to calm him down, though thankfully I haven’t had to rely on that tactic too often.

But quiet times when I watch him play or read have become my most favorite. I will watch him with puzzles and blocks, then watch as he destroys what he builds, then we’ll giggle. I love seeing him pick out just which book he wants to pretend to read, or shove the flash cards under the rug as if they belong there. I love how he points out dogs and cats (“Meow,” he says) when reading with him. How he’ll tell me what picture is on which block, and be so proud of himself for getting it right. He’s been a sponge for everything, so now I have to really watch what I say and do, for fear of influencing him in ways I am not intending.

There is so much more, so much I love, and I could honestly go on and on. Instead, I’m just going to continue to learn about him, learn with him, learn from him, and hopefully become best friends with him.