First Time Father - 9 Months

Who knew I would get this much joy out of a nine-month-old baby?

I think my college communications professor, Paul Byers, said not to start a story with a question, but this particular question pops up almost every day. For me, being a dad has been so much fun. Grayson is now at the age where, like a young Clark Kent discovering his powers for the first time, he is doing new things almost daily. A few weeks ago it was “talking” with me through mixed blurts and blabber. Then Gray learned how to jump in his bouncy chair. When he unearthed the hidden strength of his tiny, but powerful legs, he began his barrel rolling during changing and feeding times. And last week he started the dreaded crawl. I say “dreaded” because as most parents can attest, once the younglings start scooching across the floor you really have to be vigilant. Next stop – Babies R Us – got to get some gates and all the baby-proofing material we can get our hands on, so Gray can’t get his hands on things he shouldn’t.

Yes, it truly is a fun time. Sandi has recently returned to work (Thank Goodne$$), but with that I am getting more one-on-one time with Mr. Gray. I am really loving it, though it is stressful.

I have previously mentioned how aware I am of not only what Sandi has/had to go through taking care of our son when I am not around, but being a dad has vaulted my appreciation level for my own parents. I was no angel at home, and looking after me and my selfish wants must have been a nightmare for my folks. The fact they raised three kids who never got arrested, all went to college (and graduated on time), and have been upstanding citizens is directly linked to their love and guidance. But I should mention we are all crazy. Like the Griswald’s or the Bush’s. Anyway…

Ok, so I got lost for a moment. There is something strange and fun about being a first time dad. I saw it when my best friend had his daughters and now I see it in myself. I have begun to put not just one person, but now two people before myself. Almost every decision I make now comes with weighted discussions…”Does this take food of the table,” is what I wonder when I think I need to buy something. Or, “will Sandi be pissed if I take too long to get home,” because she needs a respite from being mom after only getting four hours of sleep. Those seem like easy thoughts a person might have, but I am an admittedly selfish person, and I am trying to change. And change is taking place.

I used to have an awesome truck. Loved it, actually. It was paid off, too. But I decided I “needed” a muscle car and I bought a limited edition Mustang Bullitt in March of 2008. This was of course during the time when I would not be a dad for sometime. Maybe ever. It was a smart purchase. Until…

As soon as I heard Sandi tell me she was pregnant I had the idea to get rid of my car. I never loved it. It wouldn’t be a big deal. But I owed a lot on it and I was in no shape financially to dump it. I would have to wait. But going to Iraq for three months earlier this year put some duckets in the bank that finally gave me the option to buy myself out of the car and get a new one that would make things easier on the family. So on Friday I went to the dealership and within a few hours I had depleted our savings by driving away with a new hybrid SUV. I’m saving the environment (supposedly), saving on gas (hopefully), and I can now more easily drive Gray around. But to me, more importantly, we won’t have to always take Sandi’s car everywhere we go as a family. I truly felt bad about that and I wanted to fix it. So I did. Without telling her. That may have been a mistake, but what’s done is done and I’m happy with my decision to swap cars, and I feel a little more grown up today then I did last week.

So now I have a new family vehicle. But what else? I pulled the trigger on a new babysitter last week in an emergency case of “Long-time friend in town and we need to get to the Huey Lewis and the News concert ASAP.” Sandi wasn’t as confident about my impromptu choice of caretakers as I was, but after meeting the girl she has been eased. In fact, the babysitter came over on short notice on Sunday so Sandi, my buddy Derek, and I could be grown ups and go to a movie. Sandi even asked the girl to come back on Friday. So it seems like I chose…wisely.

But the last few months have been as much fun in observation as they have been in participation. Gray is happy. I mean, really happy. Maybe it’s because we sing to him a lot. Not sure. But we are fortunate to have such a great kid. I used to be nervous to be home alone with him because I didn’t want to disrupt the regimen mommy had in place. Now I am a part of that schematic. I love the bath times and the feedings. Yesterday I got him to eat an entire jar of Gerber chicken noodle food substance. I was so proud.

And he is growing very quickly. As they do. Today Sandi and I lowered the crib height because Gray has developed an inquisitive habit of crib climbing. Yes, he can nearly pull himself up. No, we aren’t going to let him plummet three to four feet to the floor. So, as a team, we lowered the crib and now Gray will have to work harder to hurt himself. Hopefully that will never happen.

The teeth are here, too. Last month Gray sprouted two rice-like front, bottom teeth. Very cute. Over the last week his two opposing vampire teeth have started to show themselves. I’m pretty sure he will look positively cute and ridiculous at the same time, for some time.

Man, what a time. And I forgot to mention here that he is in day care now. Sandi is Puerto Rican, which means Gray is half Hispanic and I want him to be able to speak Spanish better than I can (Shouldn’t be hard). His day care looker-afters speak fluent Spanish and they converse with Grayson in Espanol half the day. I like picking Gray up because I get to practice my Spanish, too. They laugh at me. Estupid gringo.

I don’t like saying that it is hard being a dad. It really isn’t. It’s just different. I like it. I like all the new stuff, all the strangeness. I like daydreaming about his first real words and reading to him before he falls asleep at night after checking for monsters under the bed. I like wondering if there will be school books in his classroom in high school. I like thinking about which college he’ll want to attend (ahem, University of Florida) or what types of things he’ll be interested in? But I mostly like right now. I’m changing for the better because of him.

These nine months, or as my dad declared today “it’s really been 18 months,” have not been easy on Sandi. I know this. But we are finally in a place where we are doing everything together, as a family. Sure, it’s still my family so we are loco, but we’re a team. Sandi may work a few nights a week keeping me occupied with Gray and our dog, Richard Parker (had to give Fenway to a good family because two dogs and a baby was too much and despite Sandi’s desire, we kept the baby), but it’s all good. Gray’s in bed by 8 so I can get some writing done and watch baseball. And nights when we are all together we go running and are starting to do family dinners. We actually all ate at the table tonight. Plus, in Gray’s 9-month check-up today the doctor said we should start giving him morsels of our adult food. Gray can now eat human food?! Nine months really has gone by fast.

The last thing I want to comment on are readers comments. Thanks to all who take the time to read these Hubs. I know people are busier and busier these days, but I wanted to say I appreciate those who read my stream craziness. I write for myself but I love that there are people out there who like reading this stuff. And thanks to my wife, Sandi, for doing such an incredible job at being a mom. I have really enjoyed watching her evolution as a person, wife, and mother over the course of Gray’s life. As for these daddy Hubs, I’ll write again on Gray’s 1^st birthday, unless something monumental happens before then (First steps - when does that happen?).